We're just good friends...

Can men and women ever be 'Just Friends'? As I said yesterday, I've pretty much decided to do something about a crush on a male friend of mine, but it's really got me thinking because I always thought the answer to my question was 'yes'. End of.

But then again, the idea of getting together with a friend, better still, a close one, is everywhere. Movies, sitcoms - look at Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel, Miranda and Steve. In a fairytale world, a best friend is the ideal match. You obviously like each other, you know everything about each other. There's no way you can be 'just friends' if all that's to be believed because the sexual tension will be crackling under the veneer of straight up friendship and after a string of dating disasters, you'll realise the love of your life has been there all along. Your best friend. Awww.

My friend and I have known each other for, ooh, about 5 years now. We laugh, we joke, we drink, we smoke. I never even thought he was that attractive at first. I remember a girlfriend said 'he's kind of hot' and my response was to look in his direction with a raised eyebrow and say, 'really?'. I couldn't see it, and because I didn't think he was hot, I thought there was no way I could ever want him in a downright filthy sense.

And yet...

5 years on, and now for some reason, I cannot get the man out of my head. Over time, we got to know each other, although we're not 'best pals'. He makes me laugh, he has a mind as dirty as mine and somehow always brightens my day when we do speak or meet which isn't as often as I would like. I don't know when it happened, but all of a sudden I began to think 'wow, he's kinda special.' And it's not one-sided. I know he likes me, or at least he used to. We've had the conversation, we've fooled around. The question is whether, if I say, 'hey. I want to do unspeakable things to you' he'll be on it or whether he'll say, 'sorry love, I've moved onto the next one.'

I honestly believe that men and women can be 'Just Friends'. Even 'Just Good Friends'. BUT, I don't think it's as simple as there being zero attraction. The fact you're in a friendship means you like them and inevitably, somewhere along the line, the thought will cross one or both minds. The difference between being just friends and being something more is timing.

As long as you can accept that at some stage, one or both of you will get the urge to step beyond the line, you can be just friends. The interesting part is if you both happen to get the urge at the same time. As for the question of losing a friend if it all goes wrong, that's another topic for another day. Personally, I'm hoping the urges will be nicely matched for me and my friend. Fingers are crossed.